Roleplay Board

Creative Control

(LIVE from Toronto, Ontario)

(Cameras open at the Sky Dome in Toronto, Ontario…….the arena is in darkness and explosions and fireworks go off to begin the show. Cameras go down to the broadcast location where Mike Hunt and Hairy Assmaster are standing by….)

HUNT – Welcome everyone LIVE to the SOLD OUT Sky Dome in Toronto!!! There’s over 68,000 GCW fans here tonight to witness history in the making!!!

ASSMASTER – That’s right Mikey boy……we’re going to not only see the first GCW World Champion crowned in over 2 years……but we’re also going to see an Intercontinental Champion crowned….all here LIVE tonight!!!

HUNT – We’ve got huge stars here tonight from both the sports world and Hollywood!!

(Cameras pan around the ringside area and we see stars like…..Vince Carter of the Toronto Raptors, Curtis Joseph of the Toronto Maple Leafs, Theo Fleury of the New York Rangers who is drinking a beer…..also in attendance……..Comedian Chris Tucker, Action Star Rowdy Roddy Piper, and Different Strokes star Gary Coleman)

ASSMASTER – WOW would you look at the stars in attendance……GARY COLEMAN……damn this is big!!! Gary Coleman doesn’t just come out for anything you know…..he’s busy as a security guard…..he don’t have time for himself!!! Did you see Theo Fleury Mike……what in the hell is he doing drinking a beer??? Didn’t he just come out of re-hab……..look at the guy he’s fuckin’ drunk man!!!

HUNT – Well I don’t know why he’s drinking….and I don’t really think it’s any of our business Hairy.

ASSMASTER – Shut up Mike!!! Everything is MY business!!! We forgot to the the biggest stars here tonight…….and they’re sitting way up there in one of the luxury sky boxes!!! Get the cameras up there and find these guys!!

HUNT – Who in the hell are you talking about Hairy?? Is Sylvester Stallone here or something???

ASSMASTER – Who?? No no…….you’ll see….)

(Cameras go up to the luxury sky boxes and we see Shane Stevens and The Weazyl just chilling back and watching the show……..)

ASSMASTER – The 5-time Champ and the Legend Shane Stevens baby!!!! Whooooo!!!!

HUNT – What in the hell are those two guys doing here?? The Weazyl isn’t even wrestling here tonight and Shane Stevens doesn’t even work for GCW!!!

ASSMASTER – These guys are loaded you jackass!!! They can buy anyone in this building…….they can buy and sell your ass a million times over!!!!

HUNT – Well anyways it’s time for our first match of the evening….it’s a First Round match in the World Title Tournament!!!!

WESTSIDE GANGSTA vs. CHARTER

ANNOUNCER – The following contest is a first round match in the quest for GCW gold!! Now making his way to the ring……from Inglewood, California…….weighing 305lbs…….the WESTSIDE GANGSTA!!!! His opponent……..now making his way to the ring…..he hails from parts Unknown……he weighs 188lbs…….CHARTER!!!!!

HUNT – This should be a great match to open the show!!! Look at the size difference between these two guys!!! The Gangsta is all over Charter here already and is showing the us the size difference as he throws Charter back into the corner!! He follows it in with a HUGE knee to Charter mid-section!!! He’s got Charter up on his shoulder…..OH a big powerslam by the Westside Gangsta!!!

ASSMASTER – He is working the little guy right now!!! Charter’s not out though….this little fucker has got some fight in him!!!

HUNT – He’s going to need it!!! The Gangsta whips Charter to the ropes…..OH big boot to the face almost takes Charters head off!!!! The Gangsta pulls Charter back to his feet……..he’s got him up in a press slam up over his head…….OH MY GOD he just threw Charter over the top ropes out onto the floor!!!!

ASSMASTER – That’s gotta hurt Mike!!! Charter is going to need to do something cuz he’s just getting his ass whooped here……he’s too small to beat this big man I think!!!

HUNT – Westside Gangsta is out on the floor…….he takes Charter and whips him into the ring steps!!! Charter is hurt folks…….the Gangsta is looking cocky and he knows he’s got Charter right where he wants him!!! The Gangsta throws Charter back in the ring!!! He’s taking a lot of time here on the floor yelling at the fans…..he’s getting back in the ring!!! Charter is up…….Westside Gangsta off the ropes……OH MY he nails him with the Ghetto!!!!!

ASSMASTER – It’s over!!! Charter is going to lose….that little fucker….I bet money on him!!!! Why in the hell is the Westside Gangsta just standing over him showing off for the fans…..you gotta cover him jackass to win the match!!!! OH MY GOD…..Charter just kicked him in the balls Mikey!!!!! Right in the damn balls!!!!

HUNT – Charter rolls him up…….his feet are on the ropes….1…..2…..3!!!! Charter somehow got the win…..I don’t know how he pulled this one off but he did!!!

ANNOUNCER – Here is your winner……CHARTER!!!!

ASSMASTER – He kicked him in the fuckin’ balls Mikey…..what are u a fuckin’ moron or something….or don’t you have balls of your own???? Do you know how bad that hurts???? All I can say for Charter is that was a great last effort move……..there was nothing else he could do……but he won…..and I won too!!!! Way to go Charter!!!

(Cameras go backstage…….we see ZEUS and RAGIN’ ROACH standing in front of Zeus’ dressing room. They are talking about something……and as soon as the camera tries to get close to hear the converstation……Zeus puts his hand on the camera and then the picture goes out…….)

HUNT – What in the hell was Zeus doing with GCW newcomer Ragin’ Roach???

ASSMASTER – Who in the hell cares!!! It’s Ragin’ Roach…..who in the hell is he….and Zeus……and you know I don’t like Zeus!!!

HUNT – Well it’s time for our next first round match…..it’s going to be Crannial Damage taking on Mista Niggs!!!

CRANNIAL DAMAGE vs. MISTA NIGGS

ANNOUNCER – The following contest is a first round match in the quest for GCW gold…..now making his way to the ring…accompanied by the Psychologist….from Windsor, Ontario……..here is CRANNIAL DAMAGE!!!! His opponent….accompanied by Miss Nipps…….he’s from Jamaica, Queens…..he is….MISTA NIGGS!!!!

HUNT – This should be a dandy!!! Crannial Damage goes to work on Mista Niggs attacking him with a flurry of punches…..he whips him to the ropes……flying elbow by CD takes Niggs down!!! CD picks up Niggs…….he’s going to try and suplex him…….OH big suplex by CD!!! CD pulls him back up to his feet again……he’s going to try for a powerbomb or piledriver here……NO Niggs reverses it and back drops CD!!!

ASSMASTER – Nice reversal there Mikey…..this Niggs is good….and look at that Miss Nipps….she’s even better!!!

HUNT – Niggs throws CD to the turnbuckle………Niggs nails CD with a number of knife edge chops to CD’s chest!!! OH a couple big European uppercuts leaves CD dazed!!!! Niggs pulls him out of the corner…..BIG Russian leg sweep by Mista Niggs on CD!!!! Here’s the cover…..1….2..NO!! CD kicks out after two!!! Niggs throws CD out to the floor…….he follows him out….he picks up CD and slams him hard on the floor!!! Niggs is looking for something under the ring…….here comes the Psychologist from behind…….LOW BLOW to Mista Niggs!!!

ASSMASTER – I don’t like that Psychologist guy!!! You know me….I’m not into rapping and rhyming……I’m not down with that!!!! What in the hell is he doing up in the ring!!!

HUNT – He’s distracting the ref……CD is going under the ring……he’s got a chair…….OH he nails Mista Niggs right in the face with that chair!!!! Now Miss Nipps is up in the ring too…….she’s taking her clothes off again!!!!

ASSMASTER – WooooHooooo!!!!! Listen to that crowd….T&A…T&A….T&A!!!! This is my favourite part of the show Mikey!!! Take it off baby!!!

HUNT – Control yourself Hairy……you might have a heart attack or something!!! She’s got her top off……..her breasts are exposed ladies and gentlemen……

ASSMASTER – Look at the size of the fuckin’ tits!!!!! DAAAAMMMMNNNN!!!

HUNT – The Psychologist is distracted by Miss Nipps and so is the ref……CD throws Mista Niggs back in the ring……now CD is in the ring….and he’s distracted by Miss Nipps too!!!! Mista Niggs is up…..he nails CD in the back……he’s getting him in position for his finisher…..if he nails this is going to be over……OH MY there it is……that inverted Razor’s Edge!!!! Miss Nipps is out of the ring…..the ref turns around……….1…..2….3!!!! Mista Niggs is going on!!!

ANNOUNCER – Here is your winner……..MISTA NIGGS!!!!!

ASSMASTER – What action Mikey….what action!!!!

HUNT – We’ve got another first round match coming up folks as Zeus will be taking on Killa Coalzee!!! Let’s go up to the ring….

KILLA COALZEE vs. ZEUS

ANNOUNCER – The following contest is a first round match in the GCW tournament!! Now making his way to the ring……accompanied by Sally Buttslutt…..from Windsor, Ontario……KILLA COALZEE!!!!! His opponent…….from Mount Olympus…..he is……..ZEUS!!!!!!

HUNT – Zeus is one of the favourites in this tournament because of his experience in the GCW ring…….we’ll see if Killa Coalzee came to win or just showed up!!!! He’s on the attack early though as he’s taking it to Zeus!!! He whips Zeus to the ropes……goes for the clothesline but misses…..Zeus nails Coalzee with a clothesline of his own!!!! Zeus whips him to the corner……he charges in after him…..Coalzee gets up the knee and nails Zeus in the face…..Coalzee follows up with a running bulldog!!!! Great move by Coalzee there….here’s the cover….1….2..NO!! Zeus is out of that one!!

ASSMASTER – I don’t like the guy but you’re never going to beat him with that…..he draws on all these idiots in attendance and there’s over 68,000 of them here tonight all screaming this guys name!!!! Look at all those signs Mike!!

HUNT – The fans love him……but right now his opponent is liking him too much at all!! Coalzee has Zeus…..he nails him with a big swining neck breaker taking Zeus back down to the mat!! Coalzee is going up top…….he’s off and he nails Zeus with a big leg drop!!!! Here’s a cover….1….2…NO!!! Zeus is out again!!!! The fans are starting behind Zeus here Hairy…..they’re trying to get him back into this match!!! Coalzee whips him to the ropes…..he misses with the clothesline…….Zeus off the ropes…..NO Coalzee nails him with a knee sending Zeus back down!!! Coalzee is going back up top….Zeus is getting to his feet…….Coalzee off the top….Zeus catches him!!!! OH he drives him down to the mat with a spinebuster!!!! What a move to catch the man in mid air like that and drive him down with a spinebuster!!!!!

ASSMASTER – Great he’s pissed now…..Coalzee just woke the sleeping giant I think!!! Listen to these damn fans……..if they’d shut up maybe Coalzee would stand a chance!!!

HUNT – Zeus is giving the sign for the Lightning Bolt…….if he hits this there’s no chance in hell of Coalzee getting up!!! He’s going up top….he’s got Coalzee up……OH MY he nails it!!!!! Big powerbomb off the top ropes by Zeus!!!! Here’s the cover….1…2….3!!!! Zeus is going on and the fans are loving this one!!!!

ANNOUNCER – Here is your winner…….ZEUS!!!!

ASSMASTER – This guy is driven by the fans…….I mean sure he does have some talent of his own…….

HUNT – Come on Hairy…..Zeus is one of GCW’s top superstars how can you say he has some talent…..he’s got a whole hell of a lot of talent and you know it!!!

ASSMASTER – Shut up Mike!!!

HUNT – We’ve got another match coming up…..our final match of the first round….let’s get up to the ring for all the action!!!

SIKOPATH vs. COMFORTABLY NUMB

ANNOUNCER – The following contest is our final first round match of the GCW tournament!!! Now making his way to the ring…..from parts unknown……..he is the deranged……SIKOPATH!!! His opponent……..he hails from St. Catherines, Ontario……..here is…..COMFORTABLY NUMB!!!!!!

HUNT – Listen to those fans cheer for one of their own!!!!

ASSMASTER – One of their own what? You mean Numb is related to all of these people in attendance???

HUNT – No Hairy……he’s Canadian like all the people here….we are in Canada you know!!!

ASSMASTER – I know all about Canada all right….the people love me here!!!

HUNT – We’ve got a brawl in the centre of the ring…..both men exchanging blows…….who’s going to go down first!!!! Numb has got the upperhand now on Sikopath……he whips him to the ropes…….misses with the clothesline….Sikopath kicks him in the gut …..OH MY Sikopath just piledrived Numb right on his head!!! He’s going for a cover….1…2…NO!! Numb is out in two folks!!!! Sikopath is screaming at the ref it was a slow count!!! Sikopath pulls him to his feet and whips him into the corner……Sikopath is putting the boots to Numb in the corner!!!! He’s putting Numb up on the top rope…….now Sikopath is up there with Numb……NO WAIT….Numb pushes Sikopath off the top rope……Sikopath hits the mat hard……now he’s back up…….off comes Numb with a moonsault and he nails Sikopath with it!!!!

ASSMASTER – Wow that was impressive……even the great Hairy Assmaster can admit when he sees something great….I know all about greatness…..I trained Shane Stevens and the Weazyl you know!!!!

HUNT – We all know about that Hairy….the whole world knows who you are!!! Comfortably Numb just clotheslined Sikopath over the top rope out onto the floor!!!! Numb goes out after him…….this ones getting heated……these two superstars don’t like one another!!!! Numb whips Sikopath towards the ring post but Sikopath reverses it and sends Numb crashing into the ring post!!!!! Sikopath has the ring stairs……OH he slams them down across Numb’s back!!!! Sikopath rolls Numb back into the ring!!!

ASSMASTER – Maybe this lunatic might get the win…..we know he’s not all there but he is tough!!!

HUNT – It looks like Sikopath is going to go for the Last Ride powerbomb……if he nails this it might be lights out for Comfortably Numb!!!! He picks him up……Numb is fighting it though…..he’s punching Sikopath in his head…..the fans are going wild……..Sikopath falls backwards and Numb landed on him!!! Numb is still pounding away at the face of Sikopath!!!! Numb pulls up Sikopath……..OH he DDT’s Sikopath!!! Comfortably Numb is going up top……..he’s up there…….OH MY GOD a 360 sommersault splash off the top ropes by Numb!!! What a move!!! Here’s the cover…he hooks the leg….1…2….3!!!! Numb is going on in the tournament!!!

ANNOUNCER – Here is your winner……COMFORTABLY NUMB!!!!

ASSMASTER – This was definitely the best first round match…..Sikopath put up a good fight Mike……but it just wasn’t enough to stop the determination of Numb!!! The rest of this tournament is going to be great…….we’re going to see in the next round Comfortably Numb take on Charter….and Mista Niggs take on Zeus!!!!

HUNT – Well up next folks we’ve got a special added match to the show….it’s going to be a TABLE MATCH…..should be great….let’s go to the ring!!!

Table Match

HATCHET MAN vs. THE VIBRATOR

ANNOUNCER – The following contest is a special Table Match!!!! Now making his way to the ring…….from Toronto, Ontario……..HATCHET MAN!!!!! His opponent…….now making his way to the ring…..he’s from Sun City, South Africa……he is….THE VIBRATOR!!!!!

HUNT – I don’t know how well the Vibrator is going to do in this match…..we heard him earlier in the week state that he’s never been in a match like this and he was really hoping that he wasn’t going to have to go through a table!!!

ASSMASTER – This guy is an idiot Mike…..the fans love this jackass…….and he’s yet to even win a match here in GCW…..yeah he’s a real superstar!!!

HUNT – Hatchet Man is all over the Vibrator here early in this one!!! He whips the Vibrator to the ropes…..big drop kick by Hatchet Man sends the Vibrator down!!! Hatchet Man picks him up……..he’s got him up in a suplex…..look at the hold on that suplex Hairy!!! OH he finally sends the Vibrator crashing down to the mat!!!! Hatchet Man is going out of the ring…..he’s got a table and he’s setting it up out on the floor…..now he’s getting another table and he’s bringing it into the ring with him!!! He’s setting up the table in the corner……..the Vibrator is up to his feet…….he goes to whip the Vibrator into the ropes but it’s reversed by the vibrator…….he drop kicks Hatchet Man and sends him down to the mat!!!

ASSMASTER – Listen to these morons cheer for this jobber……..I don’t know who’s more pathetic….the Vibrator….or the fans for cheering for him!!!!

HUNT – The Vibrator whips Hatchet into the corner….here comes the Vibrator….OH Hatchet moves and the Vibrator crashes face first in the turnbuckle………Hatchet Man grabs the Vibrator……OH MY a big powerbomb by Hatchet Man!!!! Wait a minute…..here comes someone……

ASSMASTER – That isn’t who I think it is……….it is……it’s 1 PAC!!!!! He’s back!!!!!

HUNT – Former GCW midget star 1 PAC is back and he’s in the ring…..he’s biting the Hatchet Man on the ass!!!!

ASSMASTER – HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! This is great!!! It’s like the circus meets wrestling!!!! When is the bear going to ride the little car around???

HUNT – Hatchet Man has got 1 PAC……..OH MY he just chokeslammed 1 PAC!!! Wait a minute…..here comes the Janitor and Dirty Dick Sanchez!!!!!! They both hit the ring……..they attack Hatchet Man…….he’s fighting off both men…….the Vibrator is back up……now he’s in on the attack and finally they’ve got the upperhand on the Hatchet Man!!! The Vibrator is telling the Janitor and Dirty Dick to put Hatchet on the table and hold him…….the Vibrator is going up top…….wait a minute Hatchet just fought off the Janitor and Dirty Dick….the Vibrator dives off….Hatchet Man moves and the Vibrator just went right through that table!!!!!!

ASSMASTER – It’s not over though….Hatchet Man has to put him through the table!!!!

HUNT – That’s right Hairy!!! Hatchet Man is pointing to the table he set up outside the ring earlier…..he’s not going to!!! He’s going to powerbomb the Vibrator over the top out through that table……..no he can’t do this……..OH GOD!!!! He just through the Vibrator right through that table out on the floor…….the Vibrator is out cold!!!!! Hatchet Man has defeated the Vibrator here on Totally Exposed!!!

ANNOUNCER – Here is your winner……HATCHET MAN!!!!

HUNT – Well we’re ready to kick things off here in the second round of the World title tournament……remember folks….the winners of these next two matches will face later tonight and one man will walk out the GCW World Champ!!!! The two losers will face and one of those two men will walk out of here tonight the GCW Intercontinental Champion!!!!

CHARTER vs. COMFORTABLY NUMB

ANNOUNCER – The following contest in a second round match in the GCW tournament!!! Now making his way to the ring……..from parts unknown……..he is……CHARTER!!!! His opponent……….from St. Catharines, Ontario……here is…..COMFORTABLY NUMB!!!!!

HUNT – This should be a great match but I don’t know how well Charter is going to fair after his performance in the first match!!!

ASSMASTER – What performance??? You mean his two offensive moves??? He kicked the guy in the nuts…..then he rolled him up and had to even put his feet up on the ropes to get the win!!!! The only performance GCW got out of him…..was a shitty one!!!

HUNT – They’re fighting back and forth here in the beginning…….Charter has the upper-hand…..he goes for the whip to the ropes……Numb reverses it…..sends Charter to the ropes……big boot to the face by Numb sends Charter down hard!!!!

ASSMASTER – Well at least he came out Mike….that’s the important thing here!!! Now it’s just a matter of time before Numb finishes him…..I mean if I was Numb I would do it now so I could rest longer before the World Title match!!!

HUNT – This former GCW young gun might be able to come back Hairy!!! I don’t know what’s happened to him…….but the last time fans seen this guy on GCW television he was looking a hell of a lot better than he is right now!!!!

ASSMASTER – He’s probably on crack or something!!!!! Maybe this guy can get things straightened out in his life and maybe he’ll be a star again someday….but right now Numb is beating him like a red headed step child!!!!

HUNT – Comfortably Numb picks Charter up….OH big back breaker on Charter!!! Numb pulls Charter to his feet once again…..he picks him up high over his head….and drops him right on the mat!!!! Charter better come up with something here or he’s done for!!!! I’m not sure how he’s made it this far!!! Numb is pulling him to his feet again……Charter blocks the punch attempt by Numb and kicks him in the nuts!!!

ASSMASTER – He nailed his finisher…..pin him Charter….pin him damnit!!!

HUNT – What finishing move??? A kick to the nuts??? That’s not a finisher Hairy!!!

ASSMASTER – It got him into this round didn’t it?? I say go with what works!!

HUNT – Charter has got Numb in the corner……he’s kicking him repeatedly……Numb comes out of the corner dazed……Charter is going up top…….Charter off with a moonsault……Numb catches him in mid-air……POWERSLAM by Numb!!!!! What a move Hairy!!!

ASSMASTER – I told Charter to pin him…….what was he thinking trying his actual finishing move….it might have worked last week on Dirty Dick…..but this is no Dirty Dick in the ring!!!!

HUNT – That’s for sure…..Numb is giving the sign to the fans……it’s time for the WALL I think!!!! Numb puts Charter up on the top rope……..Numb is going up with him……OH …What a move by Numb…….a pearl river plunge off the top he calls the Wall!!!! It’s over……here’s the cover….1…2….3!!!!! Numb is going on to fight for the GCW World Title!!!!!!

ANNOUNCER – Here is your winner…and will now move on to fight for the GCW World Title….COMFORTABLY NUMB!!!!

HUNT – Well Charter still somehow has a shot at gold!!!! I’m getting word that Commissioner Hugh Jazz is heading up to the luxury box where Shane Stevens and the Weazyl are……we’ve got cameras following him so let’s go that now…..

(Cameras go to Hugh Jazz and security walking down the hall towards the private luxury sky box…….in front of the door stand the Loc Dogs……one on each side of the door. They’re each holding a belt……..the old World Title and the old Canadian Title…..titles that belong to the Weazyl. The name on the door says B.A.D. Commissioner Jazz approaches the Loc Dogs. They tell him he can’t enter the room…….then Silly C slaps Hugh Jazz in the face……Hugh Jazz punches Silly C knocking him out. Whoompy D drops the belt and takes off running down the hall. Security chases after him. Hugh Jazz knocks on the door….he tries opening it but it’s locked….he continues to knock but no one lets him in……Hugh Jazz picks up the two titles and takes them saying they are property of GCW not the Weazyl…..cameras go back in to the arena…..)

ASSMASTER – Did you see that……..Whoompy D took off running!!!! HAHAHAHA!!! Silly C got knocked out by Hugh Jazz…….that’s great!!!! For people who don’t remember the Loc Dogs…..they are one of GCW’s worst tag teams ever…….also known as the Weazyl’s little bitches!!! These guys carry his shit around for him…..they can’t beat up anyone……not even Charter!!!!! HAHAHAHA!!! The Weazyl is going to be pissed when he finds out Hugh Jazz took his belts!!!

HUNT – Things just keep getting hotter here on Totally Exposed!!! It’s time for our next second round match…….we’ll see who’s going to go on and face Comfortably Numb for the GCW World Title!!!

ZEUS vs. MISTA NIGGS

ANNOUNCER – The following contest is another second round match….the winner will go on to face Comfortably Numb for the World Title!!! Now making his way to the ring……..accompanied to the ring by Miss Nipps……from Jamaica, Queens……he is MISTA NIGGS!!!! His opponent……he hails from Mount Olympus…….he is…….ZEUS!!!!

HUNT – This should be a great match folks!!!! One of these two men is going to go on to fight for the World Title!!!! Niggs attacks Zeus……he nails him with a flurry of punches…..Niggs whips him to the ropes…..flying clothesline by Mista Niggs sends Zeus down!!!! Niggs pulls him to his feet……belly to belly suplex by Mista Niggs!!!! Nice move there!!! Niggs comes off the ropes…..he drives his knee right into Zeus’ forehead!! Niggs pulls him to his feet and throws him out onto the floor. Niggs goes out after Zeus!!! Niggs whips Zeus into the safety rail!!!! Zeus hits the safety rail hard!!!

ASSMASTER – Niggs is in control here….he looks focussed……I think he might be able to go all the way…..plus he’s got two secret weapons……Miss Nipps huge tits!!!!

HUNT – Niggs throws Zeus into the ring stairs!!! Zeus is hurt…..Niggs rolls him back into the ring!!! Niggs is slow to get back in the ring……..Niggs is pulling Zeus to his feet……Zeus pushes Niggs away and begins to throw some punches that and landing big!!! Zeus whips Niggs to the ropes…….he misses with the clothesline….Niggs goes for a clothesline and he misses…….Zeus finally takes Niggs down with a HUGE clothesline!!!! The fans are right into this one!!!! Zeus pulls Niggs to his feet…….OH what a reverse neckbreaker by Zeus!!!!! Zeus is pumped up….the crowd is behind him…….I think he’s going to go for the Lightning Bolt!!!!

ASSMASTER – Come on Miss Nipps….do something!!!

HUNT – Zeus puts Niggs up top……wait a minute Mista Niggs is fighting back…..Mista Niggs kicks Zeus off the ropes and Zeus falls back and he nails the referee!!!! The ref is down and out of it!!! Niggs is going to try for his inverted Razor’s Edge……..wait a minute….it’s SIKOPATH!!!!! What in the hell is he doing out here!!!! He’s got a tire iron and he’s in the ring!!! OH MY he just hit Mista Niggs in the back of the head with that tire iron!!! Niggs is out Hairy!!! Sikopath is out of here….he’s done the damage!!!

ASSMASTER – That lunatic just came down through the fans with a tire iron and knocked out Niggs…….this sucks ass Mikey!!!! Where in the hell is security to throw rif raff like that out of the building…..he got eliminated in the first round…..he has no business still being here!!!!

HUNT – Zeus doesn’t know what happened………he’s a little dazed himself….he rolls over onto Mista Niggs…….the ref is slowly coming around……..1……..2………3!!!!! Zeus is moving on to fight for the World Title!!!!!!!

ANNOUNCER – Here is your winner…….ZEUS!!!

ASSMASTER – Niggs got fuckin’ screwed by that fuckin’ nutbar Sikopath!!!!! I think they should lock that guy back up…..he has no business being in wrestling…..he’s a freak…a lunatic….not a wrestler!!!

HUNT – We’ve got something going on backstage folks…..we’ve got cameras back there to see if we can see what’s going on…..

(Cameras go backstage…….we see from a distance….Shane Stevens….The Weazyl w/Silly C….and Charter. The Weazyl is yelling at Silly C for losing his belt. Shane Stevens is talking with Charter……..it looks like he’s trying to motivate Charter……Shane Stevens then looks over at the Weazyl….he says something that can’t be heard……the Weazyl nods his head….they both smile then shake Charter’s hand…..cameras go back in to the arena…..)

ASSMASTER – What in the hell are Shane Stevens and Weazyl doing with Charter?? Weren’t they watching the show?? If the words from Shane Stevens can’t motivate Charter……then nothing is going to help this guy……we’ll see if anything helps Charter in this next match against Mista Niggs!!!! Look at Niggs…..he’s just starting to get up after that blow from Sikopath and he’s got a match in a few seconds for the IC Title!!!!!

HUNT – It’s time for the GCW IC Title match…….let’s go to the ring announcer….

GCW Intercontinental Title Match

MISTA NIGGS vs. CHARTER

ANNOUNCER – The following contest is for the GCW Intercontinental Championship!!!! Currently in the ring………he’s from Jamaica Queens……he is MISTA NIGGS!!!! His opponent…….now making his way to the ring…..from parts unknown…….he is CHARTER!!!

HUNT – Well Charter is back out here again and this time has a shot at winning the IC Title!!!! Charter just came running down to the ring and he’s all over Mista Niggs who still hasn’t even recovered from the shot to the head he took!!! Charter whips him to the ropes……..spinning heel kick by Charter sends him to the mat!!!

ASSMASTER – Godamnit that’s the best move Charter has had all night!!! Whatever they said to him……it looks like it sure as hell worked!!!!

HUNT – Charter scoops up Niggs and slams him down……Charter is going up top……Charter flies off the top and nails Niggs hard with a flying elbow drop!!!! What a move!!! Charter with the cover….1…2..NO!!! Niggs somehow kicked out!!!! Charter is going to go up top again…..this time he’s going for a moonsault…..NO Niggs rolled out of the way!!!! Niggs is slow to his feet……..he whips Charter into the corner…..Charter hits the turnbuckles hard and crashes to the mat!!!! Niggs steps on Charter’s throat!!!! Niggs pulls him to his feet…….he picks up Charter…..OH MY a Jackhammer!!!!! Niggs goes for the cover….1….2…NO!!! Charter got his foot on the ropes!!!

ASSMASTER – Charter has some life in him finally!!!! Niggs is kicking his ass now but he’s not dead yet….or is he??

HUNT – Niggs is going to try and go for his inverted Razor’s Edge…….NO Charter’s getting out of it…….Niggs spins around…….Charter kicks him in the gut and DDT’s him to the mat!!!! Charter pulls Niggs back up and puts him in the corner…..he begins kicking Niggs…..he’s going to try his finisher…..Charter runs up top……..jumps off with the moonsault…..Niggs moves….but Charter landed on his feet!!!! Niggs charges Charter…….drop toe hold by Charter!!!! Wait a minute…….someone just came out from under the ring……..the ref can’t see him….but it’s RAGIN’ ROACH!!!! Charter goes off the ropes…….Roach trips Charter and Charter smacks his face off the mat!!!! Roach just hid back under the ring again!!!! Charter gets up dazed…….Niggs grabs him……..he’s going for the inverted Razor’s Edge……OH MAN!!!!! Niggs nailed it!!!! Here’s the cover….1….2…..3!!!!! We have a new GCW IC Champion!!!

ANNOUNCER – Here is your winner…..and NEW GCW Intercontinental Champion……MISTA NIGGS!!!!

ASSMASTER – GCW has roaches Mike!!!!! How in the hell did he get under the ring…….did you see him Mike? Mista Niggs is the IC Champion Mike……and he deserves it especially after getting screwed by Sikopath last match!!!

HUNT – Well it’s time for the main event folks…..the GCW World Title match…….either Zeus or Comfortably Numb will walk out of here the World Champion……let’s get up to the ring……

GCW World Title Match

COMFORTABLY NUMB vs. ZEUS

ANNOUNCER – The following contest is for the GCW World Championship!!! Now making his way to the ring…….from St. Catharines, Ontario………he is….COMFORTABLY NUMB!!!!! His opponent……from Mount Olympus…….here is……….ZEUS!!!!!

(The lights suddenly go out in the arena…….”Down with the King” by Run DMC begins to play…….the lights come back on…….Shane Stevens and The Weazyl are standing on the stage……..Shane Stevens has a mic…..)

SHANE STEVENS – So this is the final match eh?? These two losers in the ring are fighting for the GCW World Title???? (The Weazyl grabs the mic)

WEAZYL – My World Title!!!!

SHANE STEVENS – As you can see The Weazyl is a bit upset at the fact he is not in this match……no because somehow he got screwed by Commissioner Hugh Jazz!!!! I’ll get to Hugh Jazz in a minute…..first off I want to talk to the two of you standing in the ring….especially you Numb!!! You talk your shit about Shane Stevens……you want me to get back in the game so you can kick my ass…..isn’t that it?? You actually believe that just because Shane Stevens is 40 you can kick my ass!!! I am a LEGEND…..I am THE ICON……..I am the KING OF SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT…..I am Shane Stevens!!!!! I would like to be able to tell you and the world that your dream has come true and that Shane Stevens was going to return to the ring and square off against GCW’s so-called top talent!!!! I am here though to tell you two and the world something…..it does have to do with GCW….and somewhat of a return by Shane Stevens…..however…..I won’t be getting in the ring anytime soon…..because you see……you’re looking at YOUR BOSS!!!!!!! HAHAHA!!! Everyone wants to know who bought GCW……..well you’re looking at the man that bought GCW!!!! I am running things around here now and things aren’t going to be the way Commissioner Hugh Jazz was running things…..they will be run MY WAY!!!! Actually Hugh Jazz…….why don’t you come out here right now!!!

(Commissioner Hugh Jazz comes out with the two belts he took earlier in the show……..)

SHANE – Well Mr. Commissioner……..what in the hell do u think you’re doing with those belts??? You said earlier that they belonged to GCW……well you’re fuckin’ looking at GCW buddy…..SHANE STEVENS IS GCW!!!!! So……those belts belong to me seeing it’s my company…..so give me those belts….. (he takes the belts from Hugh Jazz) Now I would like to give these back to the rightful owner……the last man to hold these two title belts……..Mr. 5-time……THE WEAZYL!!!!!

(Shane Stevens hands Weazyl the belts…..Weazyl raises them up over his head)

SHANE STEVENS – As my very first order of business before we get on to this great World Title match……..Hugh Jazz………well…….YOU’RE FIRED!!!!! Get your shit….and get the fuck out of GCW!!! Now that I got to feel a little of my power……..let me use some more of my power and change this main event…….because it needs something more than just Zeus and Comfortably Numb…..it needs…..hmm…..it needs……a WEAZYL!!!!! Guess who the special referee is going to be…… (Weazyl removes his Leafs’ Jersey with the #5 on the back…..under is a ref’s shirt) You’re looking at tonight’s ref……THE WEAZYL!!!! Have fun guys!!!!

(Shane Stevens drops the mic and leaves…..Weazyl runs down to the ring for the match.)

HUNT – Shane Stevens owns GCW!!!!! I don’t believe this!!!

ASSMASTER – You say that like it’s a bad thing!!!! Now GCW is going to be good…….look what Shane did to Charter!!! Plus he’s already done some good work firing Hugh Jazz…..I never like that guy…..and making the Weazyl the special ref!!!

HUNT – The bell finally sounds and the World title match is under way!!!! There’s no way the Weazyl is going to call this one down the middle….but who would he side with…..both of these guys hate him……and the Weazyl hates them possibly even more!!! Zeus is on the attack……..he slams Numb down to the mat!!! Zeus throws Numb into the corner…….Zeus follows in with a big clothesline!!!! Zeus grabs Numb and suplexes him out of the corner….here’s a cover…..1……….NO!!! What kind of count was that???

ASSMASTER – What was wrong with it??? So it was slow….as long as he counts the same it doesn’t matter.!!!!

HUNT – Zeus is pissed….he’s yelling at the Weazyl…..the Weazyl is threatening to disqualify him right now!!! Zeus goes back to the attack……..he whips him to the ropes……Numb ducks a clothesline and nails Zeus with a superkick!!!! Numb goes for a quick cover….1………….NO!!! Another horribly slow count by the Weazyl!!! Now Numb is in the Weazyl’s face………the Weazyl is going to call for the bell here I think…….no he’s not going to but that was close!! Numb picks up Zeus……great Russian leg sweep by Numb….another cover…..1..2...NO!!! What in the hell was that…..did you see how quick that count was???

ASSMASTER – First it was too slow….now it’s too fast….what in the fuck do you want from the guy….he’s a superstar not a referee!!!!

HUNT – Numb throws Zeus out to the floor!!! Comfortably Numb is going up top…….suicide dive off the top rope by Numb….he nails Zeus out on the floor!!!! Numb picks up Zeus…….whips him into the safety rail……..Numb follows in with a clothesline but Zeus ducks an back body drops Numb up over the safey rail into the crowd!!!! Zeus is going over the rail…..they’re battling in the crowd!!! Both men exchanging blows…what a match!!!!

ASSMASTER – This is for the World Title…..if you didn’t come to fight you might as well just stay home!!!!

HUNT – Zeus throws Numb back over the rail……now Zeus is over and they’re finally making their way back into the ring!!! Now Zeus is going up top…….off comes Zeus he nails Numb with a flying clothesline off the top!!!! Here’s another cover….1………..2..NO!!!! Numb is out with another slow count by the Weazyl!!! Zeus grabs Numb…..he’s going to attempt a tombstone piledriver….wait a minute….Numb is reversing it…….OH MY Numb gives Zeus a tombstone….what a move!!!! Here’s a cover by Numb….1………2…NO!!! Zeus is out!!! Numb is going up top for another high risk move……he comes off with a frog splash but Zeus gets out of the way!!!! Zeus picks up Numb…..reverse DDT!!!! What a move…..here’s the cover….1…….2……NO!!! Numb kicked out but Zeus’ arm hit the Weazyl in the face!!!

ASSMASTER – Look at the Weazyl….he’s hurt Mike!!!

HUNT – What are you talking about…..he barely hit him!!!!! Here comes CHARTER!!!! Charter is down and in the ring……OH he just threw something in Zeus’ eyes….some kind of powder!!!

ASSMASTER – Probably some of his coke!!!! No wait he wouldn’t waste that!!! What about the Weazyl…..look at the pain he’s in!!!

HUNT – Would you shut up about the Weazyl…..it’s obvious he’s faking all of this!!! Zeus can’t see and Numb didn’t see a thing cuz he was out on the mat!!! Numb is up…..he boots Numb in the stomach……..A STUNNER!!! Great move by Numb……this might be enough….1….2…3!!!! How come the Weazyl didn’t count slow that time?? What in the hell is going on here?? We have a new World Champion folks but it appears that maybe Comfortably Numb may be involved in this whole thing!!!

ANNOUNCER – Here is your winner…..and NEW GCW World Champion……COMFORTABLY NUMB!!!!!

ASSMASTER – The Weazyl is getting the World Title for Comfortably Numb…….he’s in on it all….I knew it!!!

HUNT – What’s he doing…..why would Comfortably Numb turn on the fans???? Why would he turn on Zeus???? The Weazyl is in the ring with the belt……..the Weazyl goes to hand it to him…….OH MY he just nailed Comfortably Numb in the head with the World Title!!!! What in the hell is going on now??? The Weazyl just spit on the World Title and threw it on Comfortably Numb!!!!!

ASSMASTER – What a show Mike!!!! Mr. 5-Time highlighted the Main Event with his incredible officiating…..what a night!!!

HUNT – What do you mean incredible officiating??? That was the worst officiating I’ve ever seen!!!! The Weazyl ruined this main event…..he had no business being the ref but I guess when you’re good friends with the owner of the company pretty much anything can happen!!! Comfortably Numb fought hard to get to this match and he fought hard to win it….and he deserves the World title…….and I’m sure Numb and Zeus will lock up again for the GCW title and maybe next time we’ll get a clear winner without Charter and the Weazyl out here!!!! We’re out of time folks….what a night…….we’ll see you Tuesday for BLAZE and next week on this show….till then for Hairy Assmaster…..this is Mike Hunt…..goodnight from the Skydome!!!

(Cameras go backstage……..The Weazyl is walking down the hall towards the exit……as he walks outside …..Shane Stevens and Charter are waiting for him……they are start laughing and get into the B.A.D. limo……..the limo speeds away……Cameras fade to black….)